Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
