So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
