Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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