You just made me feel so damn special
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
