Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
