Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
