i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
