Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
