Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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