Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
