The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
