I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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