There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
false alarm. still invincible.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
