so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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