you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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