Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
