Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
