Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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