I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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