I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize