just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
