I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize