I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
