sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
