So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
