help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
