the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
