It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
