I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
