Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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