On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
