Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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