Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
