It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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