he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
