she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
