I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
