garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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