so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
