I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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