the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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