what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
