he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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