I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
