Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
