Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Boobs are out for the taking
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
