I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
