There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
