You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
