Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize