What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
