am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I fill condoms, not promises.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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