her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
