my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
