You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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