dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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