im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
