Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
