Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
