My room smells like vodka and shame
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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