Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
