if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
